人気ブログランキング |

The most powerful endorphin to relieve your pain. From Columbia, Missouri


by beta-endorphin
カレンダー
S M T W T F S
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30

Love and Respect: For Men

最近世俗な話題が続いたので以前に話題にだした本"Love and Respect"のエッセンスを以下に紹介。男女の思考過程がどれだけ違うかという本。

日米の文化の違いもあるので日本人にはちょっとピンとこないとこもあるかもしれないが、女性が何を望んでいるかということの要点が以下に、、、




Closeness: A woman feels close to you, meaning face to face and heart to heart, when...
*You hold hands with her.
*You hug her.
*You are affectionate without sexual intentions.

Openness: A woman feels an openness with you, meaning you are not secretly mad at her, and feels loved when..
*You share feelings with her.
*You tell her about your day. If you have had a bad one, reassure her that it does not have to do with her.
*You talk without harshness, a guarded manner, or grunting. No TV, computer, or newspaper when talking.

Understanding: A woman feels understood or that you empathize with her and feels loved
when...
*You listen to her.
*You ask: "Do you need a solution or just to be listened to."
*You repeat back what she said sometimes so she knows you are listening.
*You express appreciation for the things that she does. Tell her, "I couldn't do your job."

Peacemaking: A woman feels at peace meaning issues are resolved and feels loved when..
*You admit that you are wrong and apologize by saying “I am sorry. Will you forgive me?"
*You keep the relationship up to date. Resolve the unresolved and don't just say, "Forget it." Women get historical because they think that issues are unresolved. To women: Will you forgive and drop it? Will you move on?

Loyalty: Women feel your loyalty when you are completely committed and feels loved when..
*You don't look at other women.
*Women feel your loyalty when you wear your wedding ring.
*You speak only positive things around family and friends. Don't air dirty laundry.
*Never use the word "divorce".

Esteem: A woman feels esteemed and that you treasure her above all others when...
*You honor her in front of children and others.
*You are appreciative.
*You praise her for what she does whether inside or outside the home.
*You value her opinions in the gray areas. She might not be wrong from you, just different.
*Men are bottom line. Don't be too blunt with your wife when you don't agree with her opinion. You could start by just thanking her for her opinion; say things like; "Let me think about that." "Even though I don't feel the same way as you do, I value your heart." "I value your opinion and I trust your heart." Your tone of voice makes a big difference.

Are you treating your wife the way you want your future son-in-law to treat your daughter?
by beta-endorphin | 2006-11-06 12:27 | Great books